Hey beautiful!!

Love Island, once again gripped most of the nation, bringing friends and foes together. Worrying teenagers, if allowed to watch it found themselves at peace with annoying parents for once, for at least they all had something in common. Remote control wars seized, everyone harmoniously tuning in to watch Love Island. Well, maybe, Love Island is drawing our fragmented families together. One person, outside of myself who I know cannot stomach the show and didn’t watch is Piers Morgan.

swimwear lady on clear blue water

Academically acclaimed or not, watched it or not, one way or the other, it trickled to our attention by default or by choice. The contestants or participants all looking picture perfect. No cellulite, no wrinkles, toned and tanned, all almost of a similar dress size or body shape. It is obvious hard work and precision has been at play to achieve those six packs and beautifully toned legs and arms. Those that watch see different traits and varying levels of beauty in the contestants. Some see beauty at its best, others see brains or the lack of, and yet others see empty, shallow and vain people seeking fame in the name of love or lust! The list goes on and on. The question is, what do you think you see or saw?

Young women and young men aspire to have those almost sculptured bodies. They wish they could own one, for as far as they are concerned, what is being presented to them is true beauty at its best. Those of us that are a bit long in the tooth might have watched and thought, ‘’if only I could turn back the hands of time” we would work on that cellulite, we would shed off that weight and get trimmer waistlines, we would get rid of those bingo wings’ If wishes were horses, oh how we would all ride!

So, ladies, what is real true beauty to you? I’m sure it is different things to different people. I’m sure they can never be a wrong or right answer. We all see things differently. I am positive we will somehow share common traits we consider validates true beauty.

We live in a world constantly glorifying physical looks, a world where ‘selfie rules’. The mirrors we look at are shouting, ‘you are not tall enough, your hair is not long enough, your boobs are not big enough, or your bootie is not sticking out nor rounded enough”. No matter which mirror you turn to, it seems they are all set or designed to highlight all the flaws that need ‘changing’ as far as our outside appearance is concerned. We appear somewhat ‘blinded’ to the beauty that we possess and the power therein.

We appear to have allowed the celebrity culture that surrounds us to consume and dictate to us. Suddenly beauty has been allowed to be manipulated by those that are in the public eye. We measure our beauty based on the frenzied media, social media and celebrity standards. I clamour for the next celebrity look so we can be called ‘beautiful’. Once we catch wind of their facial products, we are queuing in front of the tills to make our own purchases so we can look flawless and beautiful. We want virtually everything they use, for if the truth be told the celebs look stunningly beautiful.  Well friends, beauty is skin deep.

Am I discarding taking care of oneself- NO, far from it. It is beautiful to be physically attractive and pleasing to the eye. It becomes ugly when one starts obsessing about it. When you cannot even run to your local corner shop for a pint of milk without ‘putting your face on’, ‘true beauty’ has seized to be part of you.

Do whatever is within your reach to take good care of yourself. Eat well, have a good balanced routine. Get enough exercise- and your beauty will shine through. After all the bible says, ‘You are wonderfully and fearfully made’. You were created to shine and allow others to see His glory through your beauty. You were created from a place of reverence, and beauty. Others might argue that taking care of one’s physical or outer beauty is all vain, l beg to differ.  Esther, a biblical character, a young woman, before she was brought before the king as a favourite to become queen went through what I would call a ‘beauty boot camp’.  Only I don’t imagine even for a minute it was in any shape or form brutal, or over the top. The bible mentions she had 12 months of beauty treatments with oils, perfumes and special foods. Good care was taken. I’m sure it was not only to do with oils and various treatments. It was her emotional intelligence, her poise, her form, her kindness and her composure shining through and revealing her true beauty. She was mentored and advised. It was in humility she accepted mentorship, hence standing to gain more herself. Has a girlfriend or another ever pointed out that perhaps you are using wrong makeup colours for your skin tone and you humbly took it on board and tried what has been suggested? There is beauty in listening and taking things on board, for to do so will aid personal growth. It is also worth noting that some comments will be made out of malice and jealousy, hence your beauty in maturity, and emotional intelligence will shine through as you weigh the odds and intent of the comments and advise.

Some, also well meaning might argue we don’t need any make up at all. That is also a subjective idea and each to their own. On occasions I have been personally quizzed on wearing make up for whatever reasons, my explanations have always been along these lines: Maybe this is me realising the effects of my fallen state from God’s original creation and my only way of trying to get as close to how I might have looked or appeared before mankind fell and was plagued with sin. It sounds silly, but it works wonders for me when I give that explanation and it always does the trick, it silences the syncs. True beauty is being aware of who you are. So, my beauties there is nothing wrong in taking extra care of oneself.

Society shouts, ‘if you have it, flaunt it about’. Society also says modesty is not that deep and matters not. Well modesty reveals your beauty. Being modest isn’t saying dress like you have been told when the world is ending therefore you shouldn’t care, neither does it say dress up and make- up in ridiculous expensive apparel. A truly beautiful woman has more sense than money can buy and is content with what is within her reach. A beautiful woman lives within her means, and she dresses elegantly and still maintains her humility. She also knows that simply is a statement just as less is more.

You show your beauty when you are kind towards others. Let your kindness be your strength and source of influence. Being self- assured isn’t about being arrogant, it’s knowing yourself and not playing small or being timid.

You are truly beautiful when you carry with you a very dignified grace about your looks, movements, style and appearance. You are beautiful because you are intelligent. This is not about academics. Go all out and gain knowledge. Learn to manage your emotions, don’t succumb and be reactive to situations. When you are aware of the choices at your disposal, you learn to deal with changes more maturely and with dignity. Don’t flap when under pressure, it can be ugly to onlookers and those hearing you out. Beauty will be in your composure and self- control.

A courageous woman is one who takes risks, one who dares to dream. She dreams knowing that all of her dreams won’t come true but enough have come true for her to continue dreaming. You are beautiful when you are true to yourself and can say NO and allow change to happen realising that to resist change is to her detriment.

You are beautiful when you are confident, self-aware and you dedicate to your self- development for the good of others. A truly beautiful woman will build boundaries, not selfish ones but ones that will protect her generous nature. A beautiful woman is honest. Others will gravitate towards what is real and authentic. You are beautiful when you have no hidden agendas.

Most of all, possess humility. You do not boast on your success stories. You let your success speak for itself, and you speak the best of others’ success. A beautiful woman knows when to be silent. She almost doesn’t like the sound of her voice knowing when to allow the depth of her character shine through.

You are truly beautiful when you stay in your lane, when competition with others is repulsive to you, you also refuse to unnecessarily ‘hog the lane’ so as to hinder others success.

You are truly a beautiful woman when you accept that you are more than a sum of your physical appearance.

One of my favourite authors, Marian Williamson says,

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone……..”

A truly beautiful woman knows she is powerful to strongly and positively influence those around her.

’The beauty of a woman is reflected within her soul’’ Anon. MT



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